We get patterned into a morally correct behavior right from a very young age, thanks to all the grown-up adults around us. We are encouraged to model a particular type of behavior and discouraged to take up opposite behaviors. Its looks nice if the children behave this way and this behavior is reinforced through recognition and appreciation. But unknowingly to the adults and many times even to the child, this behavior pattern becomes very deep rooted. The sense of “something has gone wrong” is not felt at that time.
But as the child grows up, he finds it increasingly difficult to face certain challenges the world throws at him. No longer is the child in a protected environment or interacting only with his well-wishers. Many times in the adult world, he has to handle difficult people and situations all by himself. But unfortunately he has only been trained to be nice. And therefore he is not able to have his way. People with such deep rooted and patterned behavior of being nice will always find themselves incapable to handle difficult people and situations.
The right strategy for parents to adopt is to make the child experience different situations and people from a very young age. They should be made to understand both competing and collaborating behaviors and need to gain mastery of both. They should be trained to put on the appropriate behaviors based on the situation they face. This will prepare them for the adult world they would be facing later on in their lives.
Some body has beautifully said “my personality is who I am and my attitude is based on who you are”. It’s not about having a very positive and accommodative attitude all the time. Its more about understanding the situation and the person with whom you are interacting and demonstrating the right behavior. The behavior can be positive or negative, aggressive or submissive and respectful or disrespectful.
Perceptiveness plays a very important role in not only safe guarding our interests but also in influencing people and getting things done. Especially in today’s world when we are interacting and working along with people from different cultures and places.